How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Why are they called tacos?
They don’t say much.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.