Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
My dad dumps expired peas down the drain. Then he looks at me and says:
“Hey, I peed in the sink”
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
What do you call a food waste disposter installed in the sink?
In-sink-erator
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t