Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.