What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”