Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.