If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...