How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!