How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.