Image courtesy of DepositphotosYou might happen to be one of the few tech-savvy grandparents out there, but there are some unwritten social media rules that you should be aware of. First off, it’s not your place to post unflattering or inappropriate photos of your grandchildren, nor is every post written by one of them an opportunity for starting a conversation. Furthermore, don’t post any statuses or other content that can be misinterpreted negatively.
2. They avoid suggesting baby names to their children
As exciting as it is to see your children have their own children, you should leave the name selection process for a new arrival entirely up to them. Let the experience be every bit as personal for them as it should be.
3. They always consult the grandchildren’s parents before buying a major gift
That little sports car you saw at the dealership last week would be great for your grandson, but how would Mom and Dad feel about it if you bought it for him without consulting them first? By all means, you should buy your grandchildren amazing gifts – just make sure that Mom and Dad approve first.
4. They don’t expect to be present in the delivery room
Your daughter or daughter-in-law is the one giving birth, so it’s entirely up to her who gets to be in the delivery room when that magical moment finally arrives. If you get to be there when it happens, then that’s great, but remember to be respectful in your wishes to her if you don’t - you don’t want to be the one adding additional pressure on her.
5. They never thrust their own beliefs upon their grandchildren
Everyone has their own spiritual beliefs, and just because you’ve been raised in a certain way and believe in certain things, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your grandchildren have to adhere to those values as well. Let them make up their own minds as they grow.
6. They always keep parents in the loop
When you’re out and about with your grandchild, be sure to keep Mom and Dad informed of your whereabouts and what you’re doing together.
You need to be careful about using preferential language in front of your grandchildren, especially if two or more are present. Any inklings of favoritism picked up by a grandchild can be very emotionally damaging to them.
8. They let Moms feed their children however they want to
Grandma is entitled to her opinion on how she feels her grandchild should be fed, however, she shouldn't impose it. It’s a mother’s choice as to whether she bottle-feeds or breast feeds her child, and frankly it should be left entirely up to her.
9. They never air Mom and Dad’s dirty laundry
Although some of the things that your own children got up to when they were teenagers make for comical stories at the dinner table, most of the time it isn’t a good idea to share those stories with their children. This is because it can lead to disobedience.
10. They realize that guilt trips aren’t good
While you may have genuine concern about the fact that you only have a few more years left to live, you should still let Mom and Dad decide themselves whether the family is actually going to come and see you or not next holiday.
11. They always stick to dietary rules
If Mom and Dad enforce a certain set of dietary rules at home, then those should be adhered to when your grandchildren are in your company. It’s not your place to break them.
12. They never badmouth family members
Family members tend to get upset with one another from time to time, but letting off steam in front of your grandchildren, especially if the conflict is with one or both of their parents, can be traumatizing for them.
Secretly breaking the rules set out by Mom and Dad might make you a cool grandma or grandpa for a while, but ultimately, you’re undermining their authority by doing so. For example, if bedtime is at a specific time of night, then stick to it.
14. They refrain from placing their parenting expectations on their children
It is highly likely that you look at your own children growing up through rose-tinted spectacles, but that doesn’t mean to say that the way you parented back then is applicable and valid in the context of your children and grandchildren. Let them do it their own way.
15. They're aware of each individual grandchild’s strengths and weaknesses
Each one of your grandchildren is an individual, therefore, they’re all likely to be good at different things, and not very good at other things still. They’re probably already highly aware of these differences, so making comparisons between your grandchildren is best avoided.
16. They realize that baby weight conversations are a no-go with a new mom
Your daughter or daughter-in-law is probably already troubled by how slowly her baby weight appears to be coming off. That’s why there isn’t really a need to mention it at all.
17. They avoid the hair salon when with grandchildren
As much as it may seem like one, surprising Mom and Dad with what you think is a hip new haircut for your grandchild is NOT a good idea. A visit to the hairdresser should only be entertained in the event that prior expressed permission is granted – remember that you might get it completely wrong even when it is.
18. They never use their grandchildren to fish for information about their parents
Grandchildren should never be used as middlemen in the event of a family dispute. For example, if Mom and Dad are going through a divorce, then your grandchild is under enough pressure as it is. Obtain the information you need to know in a better way.
A new, four-legged addition to a family might be the most adorable present you could give your grandchild, but what everyone needs to realize is that a furry friend is for life. Even if Mom and Dad have approved your choice of gift, is it really the best choice for everyone involved? What about the well-being of the new pet itself?
20. They leave the romantic lives of their grandchildren up to them
Be supportive of your grandchildren’s choices in terms of whom they choose to date. Don’t ask intrusive, awkward questions that will cause them to bottle up their romantic affairs later in life.
21. They let Mom make up her own mind about work
It’s true that when you were younger, it was normal for a mom to stay at home rather than go out to work. The thing is, times have changed drastically, and it may be either a desire or a necessity for your daughter or daughter-in-law to go out to work. Let her make her own mind up about what she wants to do, and support her in whatever decision she makes.
22. They keep their grandchildren’s sugar intake in check
Your grandchildren might love you for giving them lots of candy, but Mom and Dad are highly unlikely to appreciate your best efforts at a Willy Wonka impersonation. Candy should be nothing more than a sweet treat that you give out at the appropriate time, and in an appropriate amount.
23. They respect bedtime routines
Allowing your grandchild to stay up late when they’re staying at your house is one thing, but this doesn’t mean it’s okay to disrupt the bedtime routine when everyone is at Mom and Dad’s house.
You may view your grandchild as being utterly beautiful, but you need to make sure that the compliments you give them aren’t mainly focused on physical appearance. Compliment them on their problem-solving abilities or other skill they have instead.
25. They do not challenge parents in front of their grandchildren
Never undermine Mom and Dad’s authority in front of your grandchildren. A disagreement on a decision can be spoken about in private when they are not present.
26. They allow parents to make up their own minds about vacation destinations
Making a decision with regard to where to spend the next vacation period is stressful enough for Mom and Dad as it is, so think of a visit to your house during that period as an added bonus, rather than something you should demand or expect.
27. They show respect toward their grandchildren’s authority figures
Leading by example is definitely the guiding principle for this point. If you are disrespectful towards your grandchildren’s authority figures, such as coaches, teachers or babysitters, you’re just opening the door for them to behave in the same way.
28. They accept help when it’s offered rather than demand it
Your grandchildren shouldn’t be expected to wash cars or mow lawns every time they come to see you. If they offer to help you, then by all means accept it. If you really need them to do something for you, sign off with “please” and a loving hug!
H/T: Pop Sugar
